Forgiveness in relationships

Hey All,

I had an interesting chat with an amazing service on Twitter called @WikiOsra An Arabic family and relationship portal, As the Twitter stream fade away with time I thought to keep it here unedited and get back to a post whenever I have more time.

@wikiosra Well, let’s say it’s about the actions after breaking-up. I’ll give you some real examples.

@wikiosra Let’s assume 2 break-ups and I’ll present the concept through ’em. a basic background would be necessary.

@wikiosra Assume that the girl started showing interest, while the guy isn’t considering it at all, and that goes on for months.

@wikiosra In which the girl will demonstrate readiness to do whatever to get into this relationship. Let’s say the guy falls for it

@wikiosra After which she changes completely to a bit deceptive mind-gamer, may be wounded for the time she considered herself ignored.

@wikiosra Let’s say during these mind-games she makes a Major mistake that’s not acceptable by the guy and he takes a sharp step backward

@wikiosra Assuming that a step had to be taken for her side to fix things up, which doesn’t come then. He announces no-interest anymore.

@wikiosra In a very nice and forgiving way as that shouldn’t be done like that, but there is no problem I forgive but can’t accept it.

@wikiosra Let’s assume that her social circle @ college for example were aware of what’s going on and accordingly after that kind break-up

@wikiosra And forgiveness she goes to deceptive talks and situations and intentionally prepared set-ups. Should we consider forgiveness?

@wikiosra What if we don’t actually feel like forgiving out of experiencing these set-ups. After forgiving and talking nicely!

@wikiosra that’s the first analogy to demonstrate when and with whom we shouldn’t announce forgiveness. May be one of the main reasons

@wikiosra That person went forward with deceptive games knowing that she’s forgiven & not feel the size of the mistakes.

@wikiosra The point here also has to do with the perception of the social circle to that break-up. Something girls care much about.

@wikiosra Let’s go with the 2nd analogy. Break-up time and as we know in a relationship, not everything is known to everyone outside.

@wikiosra The guys announces a complete verified story about the deceptiveness of the girl he broke-up with.

@wikiosra Everyone boldly knows what went wrong and the society conceives the issue as it is. The other partner find no way outta that.

@wikiosra everything is shown now in context. And as a someone Major wrong had been done to you, you feel much better now

@wikiosra Assume that you have a chance to talk with that ex, the conversation would be with her realizing the bold mistake she’s done.

@wikiosra Now, she can say sorry, I made wrong to you. And you as a forgiving person, now you’re perfectly entitled to forgive and let it go

@wikiosra This forgiveness didn’t happen till and shouldn’t until the partner sincerely apologize and acknowledge his/her mistakes.

@wikiosra If you make-up forgiveness as the society says that forgiveness is a good thing and you’ll feel better after it.

@wikiosra you’ll actually end-up with a deeper offense and don’t forgive this time, so you lost the feeling of forgiving and more.

@wikiosra But when you put people in the position to feel their need to apologize and they realize their major mistake.

@wikiosra Then I can judge you whether you’re forgiving or not. But before being in this situation, you’re just trying to make urself feel better

@wikiosra So, I’m trying to say that the concept of “Social Punishment” if most likely to protect the community than unbounded forgiveness

@wikiosra http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv50xrsFNdU This is a good analogy to forgiveness, after stating mistakes first.

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